


There's still time

by QueenIshtar



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, F/M, Janeway got around, Mentioned Janeway/Ayala, Mentioned Janeway/Barclay, Mentioned Janeway/Chakotay, Mentioned Janeway/Seven of Nine, Mentioned Janeway/Tuvok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24977797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenIshtar/pseuds/QueenIshtar
Summary: After Voyager’s return, Tom and B’Elanna have broken up, and an angry B’Elanna talks to a sad, tipsy Janeway.While Janeway never denied herself what she needed, her role as Captain meant that she couldn't commit to anyone for more than a night. She many missed opportunities but B’Elanna is going to make sure she doesn't waste this one.
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/B'Elanna Torres, Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	There's still time

Tom hadn’t told her he was staying with Janeway on Earth. He had sent Torres a single message, apologetically informing her that duty had called. Tom wouldn’t be able to meet her, but he’d set Miral up in Janeway’s spare room. As soon as she read the message, her heart sank. She _knew_. She knew he would move on eventually, she had expected this, but she hadn’t expected it to be their former captain.  
On her arrival Kathryn is warm smiles and open arms, and B’Elanna feels confused, torn. Miral is asleep, Torres’s ship is early, not due till the morning but she couldn’t just wait on board till then. Patience was never her strong suit.  
Kathryn pours her a glass of red wine from the half empty bottle on the table, and gestures to the space next to her on the lounge. B’Elanna isn’t sure she wants to sit there, next to _her_ , but turmoil and frustration are overwhelmed by the need to know.  
When she’s seated Janeway passes on Paris’s apologies. “He really did want to see you B’Elanna, but his flight schedule was changed short notice.”  
“Has he been here the whole time then?” B’Elanna is direct. She doesn’t like the tone in her own voice, but feels powerless to it.  
“Not the whole time, no. He and Miral spent some time with his family. They stayed a few nights in Australia too, Miral is excited to tell you all about it.”  
“And this…” Torres gestures around Janeway’s apartment. “This is a thing now?”  
It takes a lot to keep eye contact with B’Elanna when she’s agitated. Kathryn isn’t fearless, but she is compassionate. Considerate. Strength tempered by accountability. It should have been up to Tom to tell B’Elanna, but she doesn’t even know yet herself if there is anything to tell.  
“I’m not sure.”  
B’Elanna is angry, and anger and pain, they’re addictive. All consuming. She hurts, and she aims to spread that hurt. It doesn’t matter that this is _Kathryn_ , the woman who believed in her when no one else did, who saw her potential, who brought out the best in her.  
“How many times did you fuck my husband?” The thunderstorm in her voice catching. Threatening to rain.  
Janeway barks a single short laugh. “Besides the warp 10 flight?”  
When Janeway realises that Torres isn’t laughing with her, she stills, setting her wine glass on the coffee table. Steel blue eyes focus on her, their intensity indicate Janeway’s seriousness.  
“I never… not while he was your husband, B’Elanna.” Her voice is snow on soft gravel. “Once before, and now… after, but never when he was yours.”  
For a moment, B’Elanna is silent. She had expected an argument, not an admission, and she finds herself morbidly curios.  
“On Voyager?”  
Kathryn hesitates. It’s a fine balance, knowing that what she says next may hurt the other woman, but her friend deserves to know the truth.  
“…No. It happened planetside.” _Yes, on Voyager._  
Janeway traces the stem of her wine glass with a finger, not meeting Torres’s eyes. “It was roughly the second year in.”  
“But nothing became of that.” B’Elanna prompts.  
“I was the Captain.” Janeway’s eyes stay cast down. “There was so much I couldn’t have because of that.”  
B’Elanna sits back in her chair and finally takes a sip of her wine. The sadness in Janeway’s voice slaps the anger out of Torres, and she is reminded that Kathryn isn’t the enemy. Guilt creeps up inside her.  
“But if you weren’t? Would you and Tom…? What about Chakotay?”  
Janeway shrugs one shoulder and sips her wine. “Chakotay? Sometimes. There were nights. There was potential for so many things to happen out there. But none of them did. None of them _could_.”  
“There’s still time.” It’s the expected response. The words fly out of her mouth before she can stop them, a trait not easily controlled. It always gets her into trouble. B’Elanna is thinking about Chakotay, but the implication there is all Tom.  
Janeway is studying her, trying to decide if the words are coming from a place of bitterness, or if she’d just been given permission to start a relationship with Torres’s ex-husband. Janeway snorts a laugh and looks away. What B’Elanna doesn’t know is that she probably could have at any time. B’Elanna wasn’t on the bridge often. She didn’t witness the way the easy banter between her and Tom became openly flirtatious so often that the crew never found it scandalous. They just accepted that was his personality, and that when she acted in a similar manner it was only in response to him.  
“Would it surprise you to know how many nights I spent with Tuvok out there?” She’s had a little too much wine and she knows she’s rambling, but Janeway just doesn’t want to talk about Tom anymore. She doesn’t want to fight with B’Elanna.  
“Tuvok?”  
“Yes. A few with Seven, right after she stopped sleeping with Ensign Wildman, but before Chakotay. There’s another thing I couldn’t have because I was the Captain.” The bitterness has crept into Janeway’s voice now, heavy with regret. “I always wonder how different Seven’s life would have been if I could have.”  
B’Elanna’s eyes are wide with shock. She drinks. She needs it. “Anyone else?”  
“Ayala, twice.” Janeway’s eyes slide at her sideways, conspiratorially. “Don’t tell Chakotay. Barclay, for a while, after we got home.”  
“So all of the senior staff then?” Torres’s voice is accusatory, but not malicious.  
“No. Not Harry. Not the Doctor.”  
“Not me.”  
“No. Not you.” Kathryn is looking at her now, steel blue eyes calculating.  
“There’s still time.” B’Elanna’s mouth is dry and her heart is racing. She has Kathryn’s full attention now, and butterflies dance in her stomach.  
It comes as a shock to both of them when B’Elanna lurches forward to kiss her, arms awkwardly wrapped around her friend’s shoulders to brings her in close. Lips press together, teeth click with their lack of coordination.  
And, truth be told, B’Elanna doesn’t really know why she does it. She’s not drunk. It’s not planned. It’s impulsive, like B’Elanna, and it’s reckless, like Kathryn. Maybe she just wants to have what Tom has, hates the idea of him having a life without her. Maybe it _is_ her jealousy wanting to ruin this for him. If she sleeps with Kathryn now it may damage this thing they have started tentatively building together here on Earth. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to be left out. B’Elanna wants to _know_ , wants to have this thing that most of the senior staff have had. Surprisingly to her, everyone else seems to have had a night with their former Captain, why can’t she? Why is B’Elanna just finding out now that she is the only one who never sexualised Kathryn Janeway?  
Kathryn’s hand on her shoulder slows her down, and it takes a moment to realise that she is kissing her back. Kathryn is kissing _her_. Despite what B’Elanna feels, this strange mix of anger, guilt and hunger, Kathryn is in her lap kissing her, and it’s everything.


End file.
